sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
