i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
