His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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