i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
