you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
