It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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