Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
