Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
