He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
