i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
3 2 1 whiskey
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
