wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
