Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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