I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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