I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
