Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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