Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
