I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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