At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize