I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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