I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
