Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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