Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
