Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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