Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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