dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
