totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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