Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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