What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
