you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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