why didn't you poke me back
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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