Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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