Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
