She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
