wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
