I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
