Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
