He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
