Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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