good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
