I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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