let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
