I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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