is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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