# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
