So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
