Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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