I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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