you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We need to rekindle our bromance
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
