In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
