Define "chronic" masturbator.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
