your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
