His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
should my penis look like a turkey
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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